Knowledge does not always lead to understanding

Knowledge does not always lead to understandingKnowledge will remove every illusion you possess and then you’ll only have the truth for company. You’d think that would make life easier to understand but that would be wishful thinking.

If you become knowledgeable you may think you have something in common with other knowledgeable people, however, that’s not how it works because the truth varies from person to person because everybody perceives their truth differently.

Judging a book by its cover is a great way of explaining that phenomenon. You can judge a book by its cover and as long as you never read the book, your illusion is your truth.

If you read the book, you get to decide if the book did or did not live up to the promises the cover made to you. That’s also your truth.

If somebody gives you their opinion of the book before you read it, your perception of the book is coloured by what you think of that person, the cover and your knowledge from reading the book. That’s a new truth for you.

After reading the book you discuss the book with somebody you admire who tell you they thought the book was brilliant, so you re-assess what you thought about the book. It changes your truth once more. Another truth.

A little time later you bump into somebody you don’t admire so much and they tell you they thought the book was brilliant too. Now, not only are you reconsidering what you thought of the book, you’re re-assessing what you think about the person you admire. A confusing truth. How could two people you have different opinions about agree.

I could carry on and explain how how everything you experienced throughout your life will have an influence on what you thought of the book but I’m sure you’ve got the idea already.

Now, replace the book with a person: As long as you never speak with a beautiful person, you will always believe they are beautiful.

I’ll leave you with one final thought:

The truth is an illusion that’s constantly being exposed by knowledge to create a different truth. 

 

 

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You cannot possible compare what two people have in common

Our similarities are not based on what we have in common, our similarities are based on if we have overcome the same insecurities in the same way.

For example: If two people have lost weight, they have the weight they lost in common but when you look a bit deeper you may realise they have very little in common. One person may have put on weight due to a medical condition, the other person may have put on weight because of comfort eating  brought about by bullying.

  • The medical condition is a physical attribute while the the comfort eating is a psychological issue. You can’t possibly compare the two even though they brought about the same result.

Now, let’s look at something where you’d think the insecurities would be more similar. You have two siblings who’ve been brought up in a house with an alcoholic parent. One sibling is two years older than the other. In this situation their insecurities have the same source but that’s all they have in common.

you are too complicated to be compared to somebody elseBecause of the age and personality of each child, they will have experienced the same events but their understanding of those events will be different. How they overcome their inherited insecurities could also be different.

One child may be outgoing and discuss their insecurities with their friends who will assure them that the sins of the parents will not be held against them.

The other child may be an introvert who keeps their thoughts and feelings to themselves, their insecurities are theirs to overcome.

  • Both children overcame a psychological insecurity in a different way which will make them very different adults where the only thing they have in common is their common ancestry.

Another example: If you saw two families driving down the road in two new Mercedes cars, you will never know what they had to sacrifice to acquire those cars. The only thing they have in common is the car, that will tell you nothing about the families.

As you experience more of life you will come to realise people have very little in common that’s worth comparing, and you can only really compare one person, and that’s the person you were yesterday compared to the person you are today.

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Expect people to be everybody they can be

Expect people to be everybodyYou’ll not be surprised by people if you expect them to be everybody they can be.

In general people’s behaviour is consistent, they act in a particular way. If you watch and listen to anybody for a while they will show you exactly what kind of person they are.

For example: Maggie always pretends to be a fool, expecting Maggie to act any differently is foolish but, Maggie could surprise you by turning out to be a genius. Now who’s feeling foolish?

You’re right, life would be far easier if you could live without creating expectations, however, to judge or not to judge is not an option because your brain likes to make your life easier to manage by grouping people.

The thing to remember is, everybody you meet throughout your life is put into groups you’ve already created by the time you became a teenager. You’ve the funny, serious, sporty, academic, friendly, sexy, stupid, interesting, boring, foolish, musical, dangerous and nice groups. When you think of a particular person, you think of a specific group.

Does it make a difference

That’s you in Blue.

The problem with using that sorting hat is, people are too complicated to be grouped, most people will fit into a different group depending on the company they’re in.

It’s at that point you have to consciously remove people from the groups you’ve created. This will result in two outcomes, you will be more open to who they really are, and you will not expect them to act in a specific manner.

You create groups to make your life easier but you end up disbanding those groups to make the people in your life more real. I’ll leave you with one final thought:

Once you accept people are capable of being everybody, you’ll not be surprised by their behaviour.

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Positive people use positive phrases

Positive people use positive phrasesPeople are more passionate about what they don’t want than anything they want. The thing people need to learn is applying that passion to what they want to achieve.

Example: The person who declares they don’t want to lose is focusing on losing. The person who declares, “I want to win,” is focusing on winning.

Positive words attract positive outcomes every time.

You cannot live a positive life with a negative attitude.

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At what point do you lose your right to complain

the remote isYou lose your right to complain the moment you choose not to act.

If you don’t like what you see on the television, you can change the channel. If you don’t change the channel, you lose your right to complain about it. If you change the channel you will have nothing to complain about.

If there’s an election and you choose not to vote, you cannot complain about who’s in power or the decisions they make.

If somebody shows you they cannot be trusted and you allow them to stay in your life, you lose your right to complain about them when they upset you.

If you hate your job but do not do anything about changing you job, you lose your right to complain about your job.

If you’re unfit and you don’t exercise, you lose your right to complain about your fitness.

If you’re complaining about posts you don’t like on the internet instead of scrolling past them; you have to ask yourself, why?

Remember: You hold the remote control to your life inside your mind. Pay attention to the important things you can change.

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Your thoughts are the solution to every stressful event you encounter

Which lane is going to get me where I want to goStress is caused when your mind tries to find a resolution to a problem when you do not have the information or power to solve it.

Example: If you consider stressful situations are like being stuck in the middle lane of the traffic jam like that white car.

Unknowable: You don’t know what’s causing the tailback or how long it will take you to get to your destination. You don’t know whether the lanes on either side of you will go faster or slower if you move into them.

What you know: You know the traffic jam will not last forever, eventually the traffic with thin out and you will get moving forward again.

  • Another thing you know is, being stressed about your current situation is not going to help you in any positive way.

stress can be relieved through acceptanceDuring those stressful moments in your life the only logical option is to accept. You are where you are meant to be and you will arrive at your destination when you’re meant to arrive.

I’ll leave you with a couple of lines that employ common sense.

  • If your actions don’t relieve your stress, you’ve got to learn how to change how you think about the cause of your stress.
  • Stress is something you embrace, you have the power to release it.
  • Stress is clearly the result of not thinking clearly.
  • You should never stress about what you cannot possibly know.
  • Whatever you accept will not cause you stress.
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The life you want is not necessarily the life you need

With great change comes great aches and painsTime and distance changes everybody, the child you were ceased to exist a long time ago, your memories of that time will be blurred if you even remember them at all, most likely you will only remember events that were outside of your normal everyday life. Of course, people were nicer, children were well mannered, the streets were safer, there wasn’t as much rain and the days were longer. None of those things were true but that’s what you believe.

Your teenage years were spent carving out your identity. By the time you reached your early twenties, you were fairly sure you had no idea what you wanted to do with your life or who you were going to spend it with. (The trials and tribulations of a teenager). The people you hung around with couldn’t help you because they were on the same path. Your parents tried to guide you, however, they weren’t having much luck as you didn’t want to live the same life as your parents so you listened to them but you didn’t hear what they were saying.

As you got older your friends drifted away from you, they found their own partners settled down and generally got on with living their own lives. You met up from time to time but you found you had little in common with them when you weren’t partying the night away.

As you hit your thirties, early forties you begin to question your beliefs. Is the meaning of life to get up every day, bring the children to school, go to work, come home, have a conversation with the top of your children’s heads as they look at their smart phones, cook and clean, pay bills and then go to bed? If you had a good day, you’ll fall asleep, if not, you’ll lie awake plotting the revenge you’ll never carry out. Yes, of course you’ll go out every other month so you know you’re not missing out on stuff.

The answer to the above question is yes, during that time in your life, that’s pretty much it, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, your fifties. Unfortunately, as you begin to reach the light you’ll start to notice the odd ache and pain you didn’t have before. One of the most dangerous events you’ll undertake is putting on your socks in the morning without putting your back out. Also at this time you’ll begin to brace yourself when you cough as it can have the same effect as putting on socks, not to mention you might need to change your underwear. You’ll meet the people you knew from time to time and wonder why they’re looking a lot older than you think you look. You’ll think to yourself, you don’t want to be seen hanging out with the elderly.

You’re now into your sixties and you begin to tell people your age once more as your proud to have reached it, you don’t tell them you’re really a sixty year old running around with the thoughts of a 25 year old. You want to do everything a 25 year old does but your body keeps telling you to forget it. You’re good at forgetting things these days so that’s exactly what you do. Midway through this decade you get invited to an old folk’s party and you take offence as old people are now the people in their eighties & nineties. How dare they ask you to their party? You’re old enough to go, that’s why.

You have reached your mid seventies, at the very mention of the word death, you stand or sit up that little bit straighter saying to yourself, “not yet, I’m too young.” You’re happy to go to old folk’s parties so that you have somewhere to go besides the shops and mass. You become more outspoken than at any other time in your life as you’ve no fear of what people think of you anymore. You just wish you’d learned this lesson a long time ago.

A lot of people will have known a different version of you during your life but, only you will have known the real you. The real you consists of every action you took and every action you thought about taking. I’ll leave you with one final thought:

You don’t need to live an extraordinary life to enjoy life, you’ve just got to appreciate the one you’ve got.

 

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Contrary to popular belief experience is the best educator

Experience is a brilliant teacherDon’t give up before you get going. Remember: Everybody and I mean everybody had to experience life to truly understand what it was all about.

An honors degree is not an indication of intelligence, it’s an indication of a good memory.

The only thing you will not be better at tomorrow is making the most of today. You’ve got to live one day at a time.

“Do not take life too seriously, you will never get out of it alive” ~Elbert Hubbard

 

 

 

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Every journey begins with the decision to depart

change happens in small waysEvery journey begins with the decision to depart, it doesn’t matter if it’s from one geographical location to another or one state of mind to another, you have to know three things.

  1. You need to know you don’t want to remain where you are.
  2. You need to know where your destination is.
  3. You need to believe you have the capacity to reach your destination.

Moving from one geographical location to another requires a reliable form of transport, that’s not difficult to find in today’s world.

Moving from one state of mind to another requires a healthy mind and body. The body is something you can work on by getting regular exercise.

clasping hands togetherA healthy mind that’s willing to embrace change requires you to exercise it too; so how do you exercise your mind to accept change?

Believe it or not, you begin by clasping your hands together, and no, it’s not to start praying. It’s to show you which hand is dominant. As you can see from the picture on the right, this person is left hand dominant. It doesn’t matter if your left or right hand is your dominant hand, the next step is to clasp your hands together the with your opposite hand in the dominant position. This will feel very uncomfortable when you do it the first time, indeed, it will feel uncomfortable for quite a while until you train your mind to accept change.

Remember: “The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” ~ Confucius

The length of time required to train your mind to accept change is different for everybody, it is dependent upon how adverse to change you are to begin with. However, once your brain accepts your hands being comfortable clasped together with either hand in the dominant position, your brain will be trained to accept the next change you want to make.

I’ll leave you with a quote from one of the great thinkers of any time:

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ~Albert Einstein.

 

 

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3 habits that will not lead you anywhere positive

your beliefs make a differenceSelf-pity, giving away your power and negative beliefs are 3 habits that will not lead you anywhere positive.

It seems fairly obvious but, if the thoughts you have about yourself, the people you interact with and the world in general are negative, you’re living a negative life.

It seems more obvious that if you change your thoughts from negative to positive, your life will head in a positive direction too.

Negative: The person with a negative mind-set will have adopted the following habits:

  1. They concentrate on the negative events that happened to them. (Self-pity)
  2. They allow other people’s behaviour affect their peace of mind. (Power)
  3. They believe the world owes them a decent living because they’re a decent person. (Fairness)

The most interesting thing is, they may not even realise they’re negative because they’re always looking outwards thinking everything has happened due to somebody else’s behaviour, not theirs.

Positive: The person who has a positive mind-set will have adopted the opposite habits.

  1. They will not let what happened in the past affect their present; today is always a new day.
  2. They accept the world is full of people who are not in control of their behaviour; they understand that those people need to be listened to and then ignored.
  3. They believe that if they put in enough effort into getting what they want, they will be rewarded.

Your beliefs, words and actions are the source of your habitual behaviour. They can be good habits or bad habits, however, the ones you give the least amount of thought will be the most difficult to change.

I’ll leave you with this final thought; It’s your life, with enough effort, you can adopt any habit you want to.

P.S. I gave up smoking 30 cigarettes a day about 16 years ago; the only thing I regret is not kicking that habit earlier.

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