You cannot change who you are, however

That headline is as true today as it was yesterday, all you have to do now is determine who are you?

It’s not the easiest question in the world to answer, is it? So, let’s start with who you’re not.

Before we eliminate the things you’re not, let’s put in to context what makes up who you are. Who you are, or your individuality, as described by Murray Bowen is the ability to think, feel and act for yourself.

The first thing we can and cannot eliminate is whether you’re male or female. There are millions of each gender on this planet, and some people who identify as something in the middle but that on its own cannot identify who you are.

I’ve yet to hear somebody shout out. Do you know who I am? “I’m female.

The next thing we can definitely eliminate from “who are you” is the colour of your skin. Depending on your ancestor’s journey across the planet you will be anything from pale White to Black. There’s only one human race.

The next thing we can eliminate from “who are you” is your nationality. Being American, European, English, Chinese or any other nationality has cultural influences on your behaviour, however, it’s not a determining fact. I’ve met many people from different locations who, if they were dropped anywhere in the world would still be themselves.

The next thing we can eliminate from “who are you” is your ability to learn or your intelligence. There are some people in this world who were born with learning difficulties, for them that is a determining fact, however, for the majority of people if they were born into the right society, they have the ability to learn anything they put their minds to learning.

The next thing we’re eliminating from “who are you” is your physical appearance. Your inherent beauty, height and weight are measurements people use to sell you stuff, that’s all.

Another thing we can eliminate from “who are you” is your family. Yes, by all means you can say, you’re a Dunne or whatever your surname happens to be, however, when you look around at other family members. Can you really say you’re all the same with the same characteristics even though you’ve been brought up by the same parents if you’re lucky, or if you’re unfortunate enough through no fault of your own to live in a single parent household, by the same parent.

The next thing we can eliminate from “who are you” is whether your rich or poor. Money will only ever determine the things you can buy. If you think being able to buy a lot of things makes you a better person, you will live a very poor life.

We can also eliminate your pastimes from the “who are you” story because, for example, if you play golf, saying you’re a golfer is just putting you into the same category as thousands of other people.

We can eliminate your political or religious beliefs from “who are you” too. They are human ideologies which were created out of chaos to acquire wealth and power.

The next thing we can eliminate from “who are you” is your education. The ability to study and remember facts will help you pass every examination you sit. The most a good education will say about you is you have a good memory.

The next thing we can eliminate from “who are you” is what you do for a living. Career choice is often determined by serendipity, you were in the right place at the right time and ended up doing something to fill in the hours of 9 am to 5 pm every day. From the stats I’ve read a lot of people don’t enjoy the career they ended up having.

Your gender, nationality, physical appearance, skin colour, intelligence, political/religious beliefs, pastimes, family, money, education and career choice are not who you are. They’re just words to describe what you do in the body you inhabit at this moment in time. They are not who you are. Who you are is so much more than that.

So, “Who are you” That’s a question only you can answer, however, if you ask yourself, why you do the things you do?(Your reason for getting out of bed every day). And how do you feel about yourself when you’re doing them? (Are you happy?) You will be in a great position to answer it.

If you’re not happy with your answers, it’s a sign you need to change the things you do or change your attitude towards the things you do.

Remember. You cannot change who you are, however, you can learn to accept the person you’ve become.

I’ll leave you with one final thought.

The only New Year’s resolution you should make this year is to be happy with the person you see in the mirror every morning.

About BrendanDunne

You're responsible for your life, past, present and future. Just remember, you can only change one of them.
This entry was posted in attitude, Inspiration, life lessons, Motivation, Positive, Self Improvement and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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