Our similarities are not based on what we have in common, our similarities are based on if we have overcome the same insecurities in the same way.
For example: If two people have lost weight, they have the weight they lost in common but when you look a bit deeper you may realise they have very little in common. One person may have put on weight due to a medical condition, the other person may have put on weight because of comfort eating brought about by bullying.
- The medical condition is a physical attribute while the the comfort eating is a psychological issue. You can’t possibly compare the two even though they brought about the same result.
Now, let’s look at something where you’d think the insecurities would be more similar. You have two siblings who’ve been brought up in a house with an alcoholic parent. One sibling is two years older than the other. In this situation their insecurities have the same source but that’s all they have in common.
Because of the age and personality of each child, they will have experienced the same events but their understanding of those events will be different. How they overcome their inherited insecurities could also be different.
One child may be outgoing and discuss their insecurities with their friends who will assure them that the sins of the parents will not be held against them.
The other child may be an introvert who keeps their thoughts and feelings to themselves, their insecurities are theirs to overcome.
- Both children overcame a psychological insecurity in a different way which will make them very different adults where the only thing they have in common is their common ancestry.
Another example: If you saw two families driving down the road in two new Mercedes cars, you will never know what they had to sacrifice to acquire those cars. The only thing they have in common is the car, that will tell you nothing about the families.
As you experience more of life you will come to realise people have very little in common that’s worth comparing, and you can only really compare one person, and that’s the person you were yesterday compared to the person you are today.