We like and dislike other people based on how they think; but how can we know what somebody else is thinking; we’re not psychics are we? That’s very true, we’re not psychics but we know what other people are thinking when they are around us by their words, their tone of voice and the body language they use. We know the traits we like in our friends such as a warm smile, a light tone of voice, manners, patience, a good sense of humour, an interest in our lives and the kind of person that even if there is a silence, it is always a comfortable one.
The traits we dislike in other people consist of the opposite; they’re the kind of people you’d prefer not to interact with at all. The traits they posses are;
- Finding fault in everybody and everything in their lives; you know the kind of person who hasn’t a good word to say about anything, their boss is a ***** and so is everybody they work with. “Nothing ever works out for them,” is their favourite phrase
- Butting in; this kind of person is just waiting for you to start talking a specific topic so they can interrupt you and tell you everything they know about that subject.
- Sarcasm; Sandra asked her friend to babysit at the weekend, to which her friend replied, “oh yeah, just what I’d planned for Saturday night.”
- Vanity: If you’re talking to your friend and they need to stand up to admire themselves in the mirror during the conversation; they’re not thinking about what you’re saying.
- Insincere flattery; this is a kin to sarcasm, if you’re not having a good hair day, and it’s obvious, having somebody tell you it looks great doesn’t help.
- Challenging you for no reason: If somebody chooses to oppose your opinion on a subject, not because they have a strong opinion on the subject but because they want to share their opinion. They are not going to be liked by you.
- Unsolicited advice; people who give you advice for which you didn’t ask regardless of their motive are trying to tell you they are better than you.
- Bad health: The person who answers every question of, “how are you,” with intimate details of their latest illness will receive few visitors.
- Envy; anybody who gives out about what everybody else has will not be liked because you can be sure they are asking the same questions about what you have to somebody else.
- Superiority complex; these are the people use words they’re fairly sure nobody else understands.
- Tone of voice; the tone of somebody’s voice shares more than their words ever will. We learn as children how to interpret a tone of voice, our parents would have said at some point, “go on and do that again.” We would be under no illusion as to what would happen if we did.
- Body language; There is an appropriate way of sitting, standing and gesturing when you’re in somebody else’s company, when you abuse this privilege, you’re not respecting the person you’re with and you will not be liked as a result.
It’s very rare to come across one person with all those no so likable traits but by being aware of those traits we can avoid causing ourselves to become disliked by people we would prefer to like us.
I leave you with this thought provoking quote: “I don’t know the secret to success but a sure path to failure is trying to please everybody.”