“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” is a wonderful quote by Oscar Wilde, it puts into perspective the difference between positive and negative thoughts, everybody has the same view but not everybody appreciates it in the same way. The poeple who look up at the stars on a clear night and appreciate the view all share the same traits:
- They don’t get caught up in things they can’t control.
This is the equivalent of learning to accept the weather you get; no matter how much you talk about it; it’s not going to change. “Life isn’t about waiting for the weather to clear, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene.
- They understand the real reason behind their emotions.
They don’t get upset with their spouse for not putting out the trash, of because the dinner isn’t ready on time; they understand the reason for them being upset with their spouse is because he/she has not being as attentive as they should be. “They deal with the real issues, not the small stuff.”
- They know how to untangle themselves from emotional situations.
Listening and understanding is how they untangle themselves from emotional situations. People who are upset want to vent those feelings. They know that listening to them for five minutes while making the appropriate noises will not cost them anything.
- They try to understand other people’s point of view.
Everybody on this planet has an opinion of something, the strength of that opinion will determine if that opinion can be changed. They accept that principle.
- They forgive themselves for allowing other people to take advantage of them.
They forgive but they don’t forget because trust is a gift they give once, if that trust is broken, it can never be replaced. “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice shame on me.”
- They understand everybody is on their own personal journey.
Thousands of people run marathons every year, and most people finish the race at different times because they all have different reasons for running in the first place.
- They understand there is a positive lesson to be learned from every negative event.
“The man who picks up a cat by the tail will learn a lesson he will never forget.” They apply the same theory to every negative event they experience. They learn from them so that the same event is not continuously repeated.
- They do not compare what they have to what everybody else has.
They understand what their neighbours have in the bank is not going to benefit them, they also understand that a lot goes on behind closed doors they have no desire to experience.
- They do not criticise themselves.
They understand that negative thoughts can destroy positive lives quicker than positive thoughts can build them back up. They understand that looking at the 90% of their lives that is perfect has far greater benefits than concentrating on the 10% they’re not happy with
- They understand a healthy body leads to a healthy mind.
They understand the need for exercise, they know that when their lungs are working efficiently, they are too.
“Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negativity.”